It appears the stigma surrounding mental health has improved and people have become comfortable discussing the topic. As you scroll through any of your social media feeds, you will likely come across posts with messages such as…
These statements are important and can be uplifting to many, especially youth, but are they enough?
We lost our sister, Brianne, to suicide nearly 20 years ago. While the stigma surrounding mental health has improved, the stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide, along with the ability to access appropriate healthcare and resources has remained largely the same. Mental illness and suicide are still misunderstood by the public and often are only learned about when someone has been directly impacted by one or both. The general public’s exposure to mental illness and suicide is often through the news or social media in relation to a crime or a celebrity’s passing by suicide. The first generally splits society down the middle on opinions of mental illness and only strengthens the stigma, while the latter brings out the many comments of…
“How could they do that to their family?”
“They seemed so happy on the outside and like they had a great life.”
We work so hard to create and sustain life that suicide is still so misunderstood, not talked about, and sometimes even feared.
So, can we talk about suicide?
Approximately 12 people die by suicide each day in Canada and on August 31st, 2004, Brianne was one of those 12 people. Brianne’s death shattered the world we once knew and led us to ask common questions of those left behind by suicide:
“Why did they do it?”
“Could we have done something to prevent it?”
Unfortunately neither of these questions can be answered, and often with time even your own answers to these questions can change. The second question led us to believe that if we could share the story of our loss with others while promoting that life is worth living, maybe we could prevent others from taking their life. We had experienced the grief and devastating effects of suicide firsthand and wished someone would have been there to share this same message with Brianne. We still believe it is an important message, but two decades after her passing, we recognize that this message is not enough and simply promoting others to live will never be sufficient when it comes to suicide prevention.
With the amount of time that has passed since Brianne’s death, it is unacceptable that more significant change has not occurred at a societal, health care or government level. It is difficult to not feel anger and frustration in the lack of progress that has been made. People are still uncomfortable talking about mental illness and suicide, especially with our youth, even though it is the second leading cause of death among those aged 15-34 years old. Education is lacking on symptoms of mental illnesses, resources and care available for those living with a mental illness, warning signs and risks factors of suicide, and how to help someone in a crisis. With society still unable to openly discuss mental illness and suicide, the push for change and improvement of resources for those to manage their mental illness prior to reaching crisis levels is unlikely to occur in the near future.
Change occurs when society raises their voices as a collective to educate, share stories and actionable solutions. We need more voices, which will hopefully lead to more listeners, particularly those who have the ability to initiate change on a larger scale in the form of affordable and accessible resources, mental health care for all, and hopefully as a result, fewer suicide deaths.
Although it can feel like our impact as individuals is minimal, there are small changes we can make within our own lives to create change to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illnesses and suicide and prevent suicide deaths.
So, what actions can we take to begin to implement change?
1. Education
It is our own responsibility to educate ourselves when it comes to suicide awareness and prevention. In our experience, we find that people do not begin educating themselves until they have been impacted by suicide. Our story was no different. Suicide prevention needs to be talked about early on in education, along with mental wellness. As a parent, it is our job to become informed so we can advocate for suicide awareness and prevention in the school systems. All Canadian youth should have the opportunity to learn and ask questions about suicide in a safe environment with experienced and knowledgeable individuals. It is critical that youth in Canada are educated when it comes to suicide prevention and awareness so that when they do become adults they can expand their knowledge, take care of their mental health, and contribute to long term change. In order to see a change, we all need to educate ourselves to advocate for better care, so individuals do not reach a point where they are having thoughts of suicide.
2. Listening
Listening and compassion are the first steps to effective change. In order to understand suicide, we must listen to those have experienced suicide, whether that is someone who has tried to take their own life or someone who has lost a loved one to suicide. People are unable to grapple with the concept of suicide. This is evident in comments made after someone has taken their life.
“How could they do this?”
“How could they be so selfish?”
We believe individuals who have lived experience can change the narrative when it comes to suicide prevention. They can help transform society’s perspective with their personal connection. Individuals who are somewhat hesitant or unwilling to try to understand suicide are often more willing to listen and find compassion when the education is attached to someone’s personal experience. Through personal stories and listening, individuals learn about the circumstances leading up to a suicide death, which warning signs were present, and potentially which resources were lacking. Listening can create change.
3. Recognize that there is not a perfect solution for suicide prevention and that it is complex. We must look at what other factors contribute to suicide rates in Canada and implement change in those areas as well. This may include affordable housing for all, advocating for Indigenous rights, addiction awareness, harm reduction etc. The list is extensive. If suicide prevention isn’t something you feel comfortable advocating for, then you can still make a difference advocating for one of the above..
4. Recognize that hope is not enough to fix suicide rates. Yes, life is worth living, but it is evident we do not currently have the resources in Canada to sustain people’s lives when it comes to mental health care. How are we going to change this?
5. Use your voice for change when you have the capacity to. Advocate for changes in health care. Share your own story, especially if you have lived experience. Support others in their mental health journey and stay connected.
Thank you for reading,
Jaclyn and Callie Kennedy